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Saturday, February 20, 2010

Withdrawal of Cigarettes, Alcohol, and Love

It has been so hard to write lately. I hope everyone understands and doesn't think that I'm totally inept.. It's been rough, but I can see pretty days on the horizon! I think I can almost smile again! Whew.... I was was worried, and sad.

Withdrawal of cigs? Thats easy as Hell!! Nicotene withdrawals are painless! Ever had stomach cramps from withdrawal from a smoke? Nope. It's in your head my friend :) Nicotene pangs arent physically painful! I promise!

Withdrawal of alcohol? Yep, I suffer from this. I have always been a happy drunk.. The thought of not listening to music that touches my heart, saddens me... I'm not sure I will ever be able to.. It would feel like I died inside a lil bit.

Yet, you know what? that is psychological! I associate a great song with a beer. I associate a song, with a memory! I associate songs that make me cry, hug, fight, and question my own being and spirit!

I lost myself for awhile my friends. Still lost and walking blind down the dark hallway, but sliding my hands down the walls until it stops and meets the end. Walking blind, but smiling that along the way ....welll..... I dunno... :)

Not afraid to fall down..

1 comment:

Kaite Emmons -- FB said...

I've never been a drinker, but I have quit smoking, and Yeah.. it isn't as hard as it is jacked up to be... I have a friend of mine who is an alcoholic, and it is so difficult to be around them... I never know how to deal with him, but of course, I never enable... I told him, "Don't ever ask me for money... Don't ever ask me for rides.. the two things that guarantee that I won't get irritated with you".. yet, he still will ask time to time... I just feel like, really bad for anyone who has to deal with this themselves or as a person on the side.. I mean, they don't remember what they said to you yesterday that made you mad... ya know? It's such a hassle, and if I wasn't his friend, then I would just up and not talk to him anymore...

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