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Tuesday, March 29, 2011

I Hate The Way I Think! Listen for just a second!

Hey, welcome to  "Screw up Central"! In case you are new to this merry go round, grab some popcorn. I'm "FREAKING STUPID!"

Well, I've have been working on my home computer business, and everything was improving each and every day. Slowly but surely... Inch, by inch.... The proper way to grow a business in a healthy manner.... So, what do I do? Instead of being content with the continual upward growth, I try to force the issue when I saw money on the table :(

Well, I have put in 1000's of hours into this sports website. Slowly but surely, my clicks and sales (and income) were rising every month. Well, I had to revisit what "GREED" gets you... Right after the game that put VCU in the Final Four, I put up a page selling their Final Four gear..  I had the number one listing in Google. Sales were coming in by the second.... So, what did I do? I made more pages, trying to profit on any way possible! I made them for every team left in the tournament. I was  raking it in.......... for a moment........ Why in the hell would I be listed #1 in front of ESPN, Fox Sports, Yahoo, or any other huge site?  I got greedy.. You know what happened? My site, that i have put in thousands of hours is not even listed now. Got slapped with a penalty for my "tactics".  It has crushed me. My dreams, my desires, my hopes, are now ....gone......  I worked soo fucking hard.  I chased momentary dollars, like I have chased my booze.. Humbled once again. I was in Google's good graces, until I got cocky and pushed the issue :(

I hate the way I think.  I can't see the big picture. I want it all, and I want it now. I want to smell the roses, lick the roses, pluck the roses, and take a picture with them.

I dunno, just another setback..  Looks like I have to go back to cleaning toilets and belittling my self once again.... Thats ok...... I think I have that down to an art form anyway. Just listen for a second... I hate the way I think... sometimes..  Sorry for the sadness I caused you... It wasn't intentional.. I think you are the best.. I think that I am the worst. I think that I better go to sleep, cuz I feel like crying right now.

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

Its ashame that alcoholics cant see the big picture. If youre like most that I have met, its about whats "fun" or "easy" right now. The fact that you cant see or choose not to see what is good for you, or that youre hurting those around you. None of that seems to matter. Like you said, you want what you want, when you want it. Unfortunately, sometimes you come up completely empty-handed. So sad. I am going to remove this blog from my computer. Its too sad and depressing. I wish you luck and joy and maybe even sobriety at some point. lc

Anonymous said...

get out there again and improve through what you learned from your mistakes.

Why do we fall? So we can learn how to get up!

Anonymous said...

get out there again and improve through what you learned from your mistakes.

Why do we fall? So we can learn how to get up!

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