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Saturday, April 9, 2011

What Lies Behind Those Alcoholic Eyes?

What lies behind those alcoholic eyes?

alcoholic poem
You may have seen the sorrow..... You may have noticed the desperation......  You may have thought to yourself  "Why does he do this"? You may have spoken to yourself "Such a shame!"

I say those same words to myself.  "Why do I choose to be lonely"?  "Why do I choose to be sad"?  When I ask myself those questions, there is a pause....... then I ask myself "What lies behind those alcoholic eyes?".  My answer is a weary, beaten down attempt to justify my sadness.

When you look at an alcoholic in the eyes, it's hard to see what is truly in their heart.  They are prisoners of a disease that has consumed them.  If they don't look this disease straight in the eyes, then... well.... unfortunate things ordinarily happen :(

Just to maintain on the topic and focus of this blogs title "What Lies Behind Those Alcoholic Eyes"? the answer is a mad desire to step out of the box that has imprisoned them.  They want to breathe..  BREATHE..... You have no idea, how much being able to loosen your fingers, stretch your arms, inhale a lil bit of life feels to you.

What lies behind an alcoholic eyes is a constant wavering thought of "I want to", " I shouldn't", "yes", "no", "just once", "just one more", "I'll....."  What lies behind those eyes is a sad struggle to be happy and live a normal life. They (me) want to love, be loved and smile.

"Dinner in a bottle"  Yum, Yum.

help me


cynthia said...

Have you considered going to rehab or an intensive outpatient group that might worl around your word schedule?, Therapy is also a good start

cynthia said...

Happy easter , been thinking of you hope you're ok been looking for posts from you everyday ... Cynthia

Just me said...

Thank you so much for thinking of me! I tell you what, that is the nicest thing I have heard in a long time. For that, I thank you!

I'll write a message soon.. Ok, right now. ;)

Cindy, Kalamazoo said...

Your words made me weep. It is so true, those eyes of my brother and others suffering. Those feelings he had like yours and I could not help no matter how much I loved him. Again, I say to you
God Bless and may you find your peace. David was 45 and died in a nursing home.

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