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Saturday, December 25, 2010

Drunk On Christmas Day

Drunk On Christmas Day
Drunk On Christmas Day

Well, to follow up on my last nights pathetic post I'll write another... Alcoholism serenade? Christmas Day was spent nursing off a hangover. For some reason I was determined to go out again as well.. Why? Probably because I was alone on Christmas Day, and as much as I say that it doesn't bother me, I get lonely and depressed. So, I went to the bar, just to be in contact with other human emotion.

The funny thing is, after about an hour of drinking and listening to other peoples bad lives, drama, and Christmas debacles I felt like going back home... The company of my cat, music, beer, and the internet seemed so much more enticing. Why do I even want to go out and put myself into situations like that?

I think I know the answer. I'm waiting for my best friend whom I haven't met yet to show up in my life.. I can see this pretty girl in my mind. Such a sweet heart she has! I keep going out and looking for her.. Is she looking for me? I want to yell to her, that HERE I AM! Nobody responds. For tonight I will go to bed with booze.. Again... I pray that I find my girl soon, or even if I have one...

Girls are easy to come by. They are everywhere! Why is it so hard to make a connection with just one? I don't know. Tonight I will pray once again that my girl will enter my life, because I'm killing myself waiting. Drunk on Christmas Day with a sad heart.


Anonymous said...

I stumbled across your blog because I was looking for a way to be there for my best friend without causing him more pain. He has destryoed a number of relationships (including ours) and continues to hurt others in his path to finding answers in a bottle. He is an artist with so much talent and it seems to be slipping away with every drop he drinks. He is more creative sober. I have never and will never abandon him but some days are so hard when his actions can be so hurtful...Am I the crazy one for wanting to be there for him no matter what or am I going to cause him more pain than good. I want him to stop doing this to himself but he almost has a romance with alcohol but its only momentary and then the sadness and disappointment in himself follows and the loss of another job and cheating on another unsuspecting woman who thinks he is "fun" to hang out and drink with...It killed his grandfather (he took his own life) I dont want it to kill him. Any advise for how I can appraoch him without hurting him more would be very much appreciated. I love him so much N.

Anonymous said...

Yes, don't ask for advice from people that can't be honest with themselves (alcoholics) would be the first step.

Anonymous said...

Anonymous said a very smart thing.

The woman who made the first comment - face your codependency. Figure out why you're letting yourself play 2nd fiddle to a bottle.

Figure out why you're letting yourself be treated like a doormat.

Figure out why you are satisfied being a hostage-cuz alcoholics don't have relationships. tHey take hostages.

Figure out why you can't do the right thing for your alcoholic friend and let him hit bottom. You're keeping him from his bottom and possibly keeping him from getting sober.

Read codependent no more by melody beattie...

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