Why Do Alcoholics Relapse, and Why Do They Fall Off The Wagon?
They Never Quit For Themselves - Often alcoholics quit for reasons that aren't conducive for long term success. I have quit because of legal consequences in the past. While that is definitely a good reason to quit, because nobody wants to go to jail, their minds and hearts aren't in to a life free from alcohol. If you have ever been to an AA meeting you probably have seen people having the leader sign a piece of paper verifying that they attended the Alcoholics Anonymous meeting. I have done this myself. It was a nice "abstinence" break, and it did look good when I presented the paper to the judge, but in the back of my mind I knew that I was going to relapse....... and probably even looked forward to it.
Alcohol is Everywhere - You can't go to a grocery store, watch television, or to a restaurant without having incredibly easy access to your addiction. On television, it is romanticized and often associated with beautiful and successful people. It's easy to forget that an alcoholics lifestyle isn't that glorious at all.
Hanging Out With The Wrong People - Alcoholics generally hang out with other people who drink themselves. In the mind of an alcoholic, hanging out with a sober person is like grinding your fingernails down a wall. If your a drunk, you just don't want to hang out with people that are sitting there and looking at you (probably in disgust) judging your poor behavior. Many alcoholics even detest a sobers person judgmental attitude. (yep, that's how we think).
Stress becomes too much - With many alcoholics, your life is a total mess when you "quit" drinking. Probably a major reason why they fall off the wagon. Their relationships with their family, wife, girlfriend/boyfriend is probably in shamble. Many times the alcoholics significant other is a drunk themeselves. How can you avoid relapse when you live with an alcoholic. Easiest way to temporarily relieve the stress is to take a drink. Ya, I know that drinking only will add to the stress, but that's not how alcoholics think. It's just not. We have shut down part of the brain that see's the long term overall picture. Or at least we have forgot how to use it. Relapse, here we come.
You get lonely - Well, we are first taught that recovering alcoholics need to hang out with people who don't drink. Well........., that's everyone we know! We never went to the same places, and never had anything in common with sober people. The lifestyle of being sober sounds incredibly dull and lifeless (yes, I know sober people think the same as a drunk's damaging lifestyle). It takes awhile to find enjoyment in things that sober people love! It takes time, and like I mentioned before an alcoholic has shut down part of their brain that can see the overall long term vision of what happiness lies in the future. They can only know what can satisfy them immediately (even though, that is what brings them sadness as well).
Advice From an Alcoholic on How to NOT Burn the Candle from Both Ends
You begin to feel TOO GOOD! : How could this be a reason why people fall off the wagon? How in the world would things becoming TOO GOOD trigger a relapse? I can't remember how many times that I have "quit drinking" that I would start to feel GREAT! I would spring out of bed in the morning. I wasn't feeling shaky, nauseous, lethargic, and tired all day! I was up with the sun and had more things accomplished by noon as what it would take me a week to do when I was drinking.
Somehow (incredibly insane I know), the first thoughts that would enter my mind when the sun would begin to fall would be "how fun it would be to get drunk right now!" My body feels great, my head is clear.. I'm up for anything! Alcoholics become so used to feeling bad all the time. What is an everyday experience to a sober person, is a shocking new experience to an alcoholic that has recently quit and is "riding the wagon". We spend the majority part of the day just trying to function and feel better.
When you feel great you want to get out and do things and experience life, but do what? Remember, when I mentioned that alcoholics have forgotten how to use the "long term satisfaction" parts of our brain? Remember that we don't know anybody who doesn't drink (that we want to hang out with at this point)? Remember that sober activities seem boring to alcoholics for quite awhile when they jump on the wagon?
These are just some assumptions that I came up with. There is a reason why alcoholics relapse, and there is a reason why they fall off the wagon. They don't intentionally want to feel horrible all of the time, hurt everyone that loves them, and wreck their lives in a suicidal fashion. Alcoholics think different. We used different parts of our brain and shut down other areas for so long. Maybe rehabilitation clinics should focus a little more on the way alcoholics think, and a little less on the way we should think.
I dunno.........
