What does an alcoholic feel like?

What does it feel like to be an alcoholic? Really? What is the pain? Is their pain? Do you really want to know?

What is the problem that makes alcoholics to become disfunctional? I dunno exactly... I can't tell you exactly.... I can tell you that alcoholism hurts your body, mind, and soul from the inside out. I can tell you that you will make decisions that aren't inside your logical head. I can tell you that if you have a wonderful child that you are fully capable of making them cry. I have done this. It is very sad...

I long to make everything right. I want to say that I'm sorry.. It's a journey.. Being an alcoholic means that you have to wake up, feel the pain, swallow your pride, accept your possible embarrasments, and willing for this to happen again... It's so sad, and it's so embarrasing.