Making Changes In My Life

My life has been a whirlwind recently. How do alcoholics make changes in their life? They make changes that cater to their lifestyle of course. I have been trying to buck this trend, but everyone that I know whom isn't an alcoholic has rejected me.

Basically my funds are short and I'm having a hard time paying the bills. As much as I hated it, I knew that I needed a roommate to help with rent. I tried to reach out to every person that I knew that might be a positive influence in my life. They all turned away. Basically, I was left with my alcoholic friend alternatives.

Well, we are only five days in. Haven't received a penny yet. supposedly he will have the rent in 3 days (but he is broke now after getting drunk as hell on his days off). I gave him a free week, but if I get the 85 bucks (weekly cuz he cant save beyond that), it will be a miracle. He had an excuse for last week. He had to take a day off of work to move his TEN boxes of crap.. Took two hours and he was at the bar the rest of the day. Now, I guess he lost 30 bucks in a transaction at his work somehow. I have known this guy for 15 years, but I will probably snap if he can't pay this week too, or try and get by saying "30 bucks is all I have"... I have been working 6 days a week. I'm an alcoholic, but WOW I gave trust to an alcoholic that makes me look like Mary Poppins.

I'm making changes in my life. Tomorrow I am meeting with a realtor and going to look at some condos to buy that will give me an easier monthly payment. I'm going back to college (for my second year now) in a month and need to get my life in order quickly! Roommates may work for some people, but if you have one that drinks 365 days a year to the point that he pees himself, its not conducive towards a positive life.

Like I said, I want to make changes in my life, but all of those who I thought loved me, rejected me. I feel so alone.